Homily
by Karen Eng
February 2006

Last year I hosted the Asian Pacific Islander UU conference at my church in Oakland, California. I was sitting towards the front at the first service on Sunday, feeling very satisfied with how the weekend was going. When I looked up I saw 3 women from our group leading worship. So then I turned around and looked at the congregation and saw the people from the conference. I'll never forget my surprise when tears started to well up in my eyes. We were all there worshiping together in my beloved church. I could hardly believe it! I saw myself reflected in the pulpit and in the congregation - I had never imagined what that would be like, and there it was. I'm certain that we set the record for the number of Asian/Pacific Islander UU's worshipping together in a parish church on that Sunday morning. It was historic! And it was a profoundly spiritual moment for me. For in that moment I realized that for the first time I was present in a different way than I'd ever been: I felt like a Chinese American and a Unitarian Universalist.

Now why is that such a big deal? Well for starters it's hard to make that happen when there are only 1 or 2 Asians in an entire UU congregation. But more than that, we showed that when we did make it happen, we experienced worship in a way that was rich & wonderful for both my congregation and for the AP/I conferees.

I believe that our faith wants me to bring my whole self to it, just as it wants my gay and lesbian sisters and brothers, my disabled co-religionists, and all of us in our many identities, to be in community with one another. As religious people, we are called to make this happen.

Let me tell you about my spiritual path. I grew up Presbyterian - in an all Chinese church. We have many Chinese churches in Oakland. Not only are these religious communities, but they are also cultural communities. By growing up in a Chinese church I lived and learned the cultural practices of my forebears. I don't just mean that I celebrated holidays and rites of passage. Through the church community I became a Chinese American. I practiced deference and respect. I came to venerate sacrifice and hard work. I was groomed to be a model minority. My entire extended family went to that same church.

But I couldn't stay in a church that was increasingly at odds with my worldview, so I drifted away. Then quite by accident I stumbled on a Unitarian church some 23 years ago, and I knew I had found a spiritual home where I could make meaning of my life.

So I accepted a trade-off. My daughter does not have that same cultural foundation. She doesn't feel the rhythm of the cultural year or suffer the relentless reinforcement of those cultural patterns. But she is a UU down to her bones. And I live out my faith in a context that lacks the cultural connection that I long for.
Now don't get me wrong: I made that choice, and I'm stickin' to it! This is my chosen faith. But does it have to be either/or? This is my dream: to be a UU and a Chinese American in my beloved church community.

I don't know how we make that happen. I wish I did. It's complicated; it takes work and it takes time. But things worth doing are rarely quick and easy. And as religious people I believe that we are called to figure this out. It is the work of affirming the worth and dignity of each of us.
So I am here in Atlanta this weekend because my heart is so full when I am in my faith community and with my cultural community - at the same time! It is powerful. It renews me in a special way. And I am grateful.

May it be so, and Amen.